Laloo at his best

Laloo, Rabri and their son were returning from South India by train. Laloo was occupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the topmost berth in the train compartment. The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to buy him a Cadbury's chocolate.

When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had
occupied his son's berth.

Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help.

The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English. Laloo explained,

"That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child!!"

Tennis Ball

While out one morning in the park, Santa found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.

Banta standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.
"Oye, what's that?" he asked with disgust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said Banta sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once."

---

... and the fight started

She: What's on TV right now...
Me: Dust..
... and the fight started

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She: What will you get me for my birthday?
Me: What do you want?
She: something that goes from 0 to 100 in 3 secs.. just by my one foot
I got her a weighing scale...
... and the fight started

---

She: Lets go shopping
Me: Where?
She: Somewhere expensive
I took her to the petrol pump...
... and the fight started

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She was looking in the mirror and said: I look awful.. Dear, tell something good about me
Me: You have a very good eye-sight...
... and the fight started

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Me: Tell me, where should I take you for dinner on your birthday
She: Take me somewhere I haven't been to, in long time
I took her to the kitchen...
... and the fight started

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I took her to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my Order first.
Me: I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please
Waiter: Aren't you worried about the mad cow?
Me: Nah, she can order for herself...
... and the fight started

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Introduction to Recession

Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

And this is how recession starts ....