Forgetting wife's birthday

Husband forgot to wish his wife a happy birthday. He came home late at night from the office...

His wife shouted: How would you feel if you didn't see me for the next few days? 
He couldnt believe his luck. He replied at once: '' Wowww... That would be great..!'' 

Monday passed, and he didn't see her...

Tuesday, he didnt see her

.
.

Wednesday passed too
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

On Thursday the swelling was better and he could see her from the corner of his left eye... :D

Computer programming jokes (functions)

What did the suicidal function say? "GOODBYE WORLD"

How do functions break up? "They stop calling each other!"

When is a function a bad investment? "When there's no return"

What happened to the function that ran away? "It never returned"

When do two functions fight? "When they have arguments"

In what unit do you measure a function's length? "In Para meters..."

What did the flirtatious function say? "Call me ;)"

What happened to all the illegal exceptions? "They were all caught!"

What do threads do after they make love? "They go to sleep"

Why do we rarely see a program with crooked teeth? "Because most of them have braces"